Nowadays we hear so much about working mothers and the stresses of motherhood.  No one denies that motherhood can be stressful.  It is time consuming.  It is exhausting.  It is hard work.  All mothers are “working mothers” in my book.  However, with so much media focus on mom is it time to take more of a holistic approach to this?  Is it time to finally get dad back into the conversation?

Recently I have begun watching Huffington Post’s new television network, HuffPost Live.  I like the format and the variety of topics.  Heck, I was even a guest once.  Here’s the proof.

HuffPost Live had a segment today where the description read:

If society continues to put pressure on women to have children, should it also expand it’s role in helping mothers who feel overwhelmed?

While I agree with their stance on the issue, I subscribe to the George Carlin school of thought, there was one major thing missing and that was the mention of fathers.  It was up to the chatroom to force them to even mention the word dad or father or even just partner.  Seriously, it was like pulling teeth.  They made it sound as if the burden of raising children was completely on them and all fathers were absent from their children’s lives.  Perhaps they feel these fathers are too busy with their fantasy football teams to help give junior a bath.  When fathers were mentioned, there was a blanket thrown over it.

“Yes. These are not just women’s issues. These are family issues,” said Beth Spong, MotherWoman Executive Director.

They continued on from there and fathers were never mentioned again.

It is these types of discussions that just feed the stereotype perpetuated in sitcoms and marketing campaigns to a point where us dads start to feel societal pressure to be that doofus dad you see on NBC or CBS.

I remember sitting in a restaurant with my daughter.  We did our usual daddy-daughter date night.  We sat there coloring on the placemat.  We talked about her day.  We talked about plans for the weekend.  I heard some talking and looked up.  The waitresses were talking about how I was such a good dad for spending time with my daughter.  Excuse me?  I’m a good dad for simply spending time with my daughter?

Look, I get there are different types of families with different dynamics and makeups and structures and all of that.  There are some scum of the earth deadbeat dads out there and I hope some of them rot in hell.  But when did things get to a point where it is assumed that a father is not involved in his child’s life?  When is it assumed that a mother cannot lean on her partner to help ease the burden she feels in raising a child?

When it comes to help for the mother, I agree.  We need paid maternity leave.  We also need some form of paternity leave.  We can have a cast of thousands of family members over to help out and chip in, but if the father gets shoved away and isn’t afforded the same opportunity to bond with his newborn as the mother is given, well… of course you feel overwhelmed!

There are a lot of things we can do better here in the U.S. when it comes to raising children.  One way we can start is by changing our rhetoric a bit and not push fathers out of the conversation.

Sources :

Featured image credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/vinothchandar/4904116886/

HuffPost Live Segment: http://huff.lv/QxDY3P