The greatest piece of advice I received was from a sports radio talk show host.  My wife and I were expecting.  I was at the gym listening to a Philadelphia sports talk station when one of the hosts began to talk about one of his biggest husband/dad fails.

Many years ago when his kids were young, his wife was heading out the door.  She told him, “Hey, I’m heading out for a bit!”  His reply to her was one of the ultimate “rookie mistakes” some guys make.  He said, “Alright, honey.  I’ll babysit the kids while you’re out.”

*Facepalm!*

You don’t babysit your own children.

Recently I came across a petition campaign spearheaded by Daddyshome, Inc., the National At-Home Dad Network.  Apparently, a survey held by U.S. Census equated stay-at-home fathers to “child care,” even though those fathers are obviously the primary care provider for their children.

The report titled “Who’s Minding the Kids,” surveyed 35,000 households and instantly labeled the mother as the designated parent.   This gave fathers the back seat and labeled them a childcare arrangement.  Basically, according to the government, you’re the fallback option.  Congratulations!

The report was authored by Lynda Laughlin, a family demographer for the U.S. Census Bureau.

“Regardless of how much families have changed over the last 50 years women are still primarily responsible for work in the home,” said Lynda Laughlin of the Census Bureau’s Fertility and Family Statistics Branch. “We try to look at child care as more of a form of work support.” A mother, said Ms. Laughlin, is “not only caring for the child only while Dad works. She’s probably caring for the child 24 hours and so Dad is able to go to work regardless.”

[Source]

Welcome to the 1950′s.

We have discussed before about how more mothers are taking the role of the breadwinner, while fathers are taking the role of the primary care provider.  We also talked about how stereotypical gender roles are being blurred, so I won’t get into that.  What bugs me about this is that the complete lack of acknowledgement by the U.S. Census Bureau through this Survey of Income and Program Participation of dads in general.  We have all seen the campaigns about the importance of fathers being involved in the lives of their children.  Stay-at-home dads are sheer definition of dads being involved in their children’s lives.

I am not a stay at home father.  I work from home, but my child does go to daycare.  My brother, Jonathan, guest blogger on DadPulse and owner of ConsiderUp.com, was a stay-at-home father for a couple of years.  I doubt he would appreciate being called “the babysitter.”

But is it really that important as to what the government labels you as?  I know it doesn’t mean much to me.  I’d imagine it didn’t mean much to my brother, either.  What is important is the level of love, gratitude and appreciation given to you from your loved ones.  Not some pathetic excuse of a survey.

Want to let your voice be heard?  Sign the petition here requesting dads be recognized as parental equals.